Hello and welcome to Google News. Here are the headlines:
* World Peace sparks outpourings of joy. Almost all of the human race were united today in a vast expression of joy in response to the newfound world peace.
* Golden Age back. People leave their doors unlocked. Kids play on the streets. Community spirit back. Crime rate down. Drugs non-existent. Hovis Van drives slowly down cobblestone streets.
* Scientists pack up: "Everything explained". Scientists all round the world today went home for a nice cup of tea after a revolutionary breakthrough explained everything. The new unified theory (NUT) unites science and religion, explains genetics, the origin of the universe, quantum phenomena, and provides the first instant cure for a hangover in human history.
* All music to be free. Record companies are to give away their music. Artists will give free concerts. iPODs to be given to every child at birth.
More details at David McCandless' Goodle Good News, a vision of Google News homepage that will cheer you up.