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April 1, 2007

Google TiSP Offers Free WiFi

"The Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material."
- Ted Stevens, US Senator (more about the quote)


Today Google fulfills Mr. Stevens' expectations and releases Google TiSP, "a free in-home wireless broadband service that delivers online connectivity via users' plumbing systems. The Toilet Internet Service Provider (TiSP) project is a self-installed, ad-supported online service that will be offered entirely free to any consumer with a WiFi-capable PC and a toilet connected to a local municipal sewage system."



If you sign up for the package, you'll get a kit that includes "a spindle of fiber-optic cable, a TiSP wireless router, installation CD and setup guide. Home installation is a simple matter of GFlushing the fiber-optic cable down to the nearest TiSP Access Node, then plugging the other end into the network port of your Google-provided TiSP wireless router."

The price you'll have to pay is installing a special version of Google Toolbar that analyzes your outpoot. "To offset the cost of providing the TiSP service, we use information gathered by discreet DNA sequencing of your personal bodily output to display online ads that are contextually relevant to your culinary preferences, current health status and likelihood of developing particular medical conditions going forward."

Google provides all the details of the installation, but it also offers professional help: "an army of factory-trained, sub-contracted nanobots from the TiSP Access Node. The nanobots travel with exhilarating nano-speed through the sewer system and into your home to perform the installation service, which should be complete within 15 minutes."

Unfortunately, it's only available in the US and Canada, but it's a clever way to bring free WiFi to every home in the world. After all, the infrastructure is already there.

22 comments:

  1. High tech shit! God I love Google. How long till this reaches my home. I can't wait to surf and shit.

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  2. I was expecting something better on 1st of April. But OK, this is also cool :P

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  3. Ha Ha Ha, may be interested if Google can guarantee against crappy data :)

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  4. lol 'surf and shit', literally...
    avril fewlz

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  5. Reading this, it seems to me that Google should consider implementing a version of this that is actually "a big truck".

    It could be called a 'Portal Potty'.

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  6. This was the best part; http://www.google.com/tisp/notfound.html

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  7. This is definitely a joke ^_^

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  8. Is this Wii compatable? I'd love to play with my Wii, through TiSP. Surfing, shitting, and playing with my Wii all at the same time! What more could someone want!?

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  9. The Best april fools joke of the century - even though that has only been 6 years :)
    RoFl

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  10. Google offering wireless broadband service isn't too surprising. I expected Google to make a move in ISP filed for a while, especially dedicated Internet access lines. Their recent acquisitions of dark fiber and Internet hosting start-ups is indication to that. This April fool joke might be just a hint of Google's more realistic plans for the near future!

    Karl,
    Highspeed-internet-provider.com reviews and ratings for different broadband providers.

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  11. in all honesty.. i couldnt work out wether they were actually joking.. now i obviously know it is! still really funny.. but at the time i was like... you are joking? but they were so serious...

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  12. Dilbert was working on a similar project last year or so.

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  13. is this really just a silly joke for April FOol's Day? I definitely didnt fall for that!

    SWEETGURL66 [aka shoula t<33]

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  14. i sounds a very revolutionary technology to me, although a very
    nasty one. google why use toilets intead of hidro or electricity outlets

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  15. internet in hugga.....Good !!
    i was waiting from last few years
    i knew this was possible ....and google has done this

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  16. uh muh guh u lil dinkface look alike :::::::::::) w888t stfd

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  17. if you didn't know that this was fake, you are pretty stupid!

    APRIL FOOLS
    (take a hint)

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  18. Google can just about do anything these days and this is a funny story on becoming a high speed internet provider lol. http://t1-lines.net

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